I'm not a very emotional person.
In fact, the only time you'll find me crying, most likely, is over a book or movie. Even then, I will make sure nobody sees me. It's probably not very healthy, but it's me. You may be wondering how this information ties into the topic of this blog post--my experience with the charismatic church. Let me give you some context. I've had four churches that I called home at one point. I've visited multiple others. The first one, I honestly couldn't tell you what they believed because I was so young and we didn't attend for all that long (though from I've been told, the church has changed into something...quite interesting, to say the least). The second one is where things got . . . different. Now, although I don't remember much about the beliefs of this church (I'll be honest, I didn't pay attention during the sermons), I do vividly remember the camp they went to, and from what I do know of the church, it's very Word of Faith/charismatic. As for the next charismatic church I attended, I'll admit it, I loved that place. But I didn't even realize how it affected my relationship with God and how off the theology was until after I left. And as for the last church I went to--or rather, am currently attending--it's a non-denominational church with reformed theology. Major difference, right? So now that you know the background, what was my experience with the charismatic church? Lemme me tell you, I had no issues when I was in it. I thought it was pretty great. It wasn't until after I left that realization dawned on me. I didn't realize what it meant to grow. I didn't truly know God or right theology. Now, I'm not saying there aren't true or mature Christians in the charismatic church. Overall, though, I found the teaching to be very shallow and unbiblical (don't kill me). What I got out of it is that everything is based on faith and emotions. You need healing? You need more faith. You want to grow closer to God? You gotta feel His presence. You want your prayers to be heard? You not only have to have enough faith, but you gotta feel His presence. (And so on.) But guess what? The Bible says in Matthew 17:20 that we only need the faith of a mustard seed. It's not the amount of faith, it's the faithfulness of our God. And you wanna know something else? God is everywhere at all times, you don't have to feel His presence to know He's there. Just because you feel something doesn't mean it's God. Just because there's beautiful, moving music playing in the background and you're in a group of people does not mean you're feeling His presence. In fact, our emotions are untrustworthy--Jeremiah 17:9 says that "the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" This affected me and my relationship with the Lord, and I didn't even realize what was wrong (I thought it was just me) until afterwards. I was always given the impression that if I wasn't feeling God moving like everyone else was (at camp), that God wasn't with me. That if I didn't put enough emotion into my prayers, He didn't hear me. This resulted in a very isolated feeling. I felt like I was the only one like this--after all, everyone around me at camp was crying, speaking in tongues, and feeling emotional. Me? I just wanted to know God. I will tell you that there was one time at a winter retreat that I almost shed some tears, but not because of God. It was because of the utter loneliness I felt in that moment as everyone went up for prayer. The speaker was telling people to come to the altar if they had things like depression, an addiction, had issues with family, etc. I didn't struggle with that, yet everyone around me seemed to and was going up front. You'd think it'd be a good thing that I didn't need prayer for those things, right? Sure, but the trade off was a feeling that nobody cared for the kind of struggle I might be having. My struggle wasn't important. I didn't need prayer. I didn't need God. Of course, I came to that conclusion after buildup of years of being in the charismatic church--in that moment, I just wanted to cry and have someone ask to pray for me. But like I said at the very beginning--I don't cry. I don't show emotion. So, naturally, I put on a fake smile, held back the tears, and tried to enjoy the rest of the night. Let me tell you, that experience, while seemingly small, made a big impact on me. It definitely played a big role in opening my eyes to biblical truth. The charismatic church emphasizes ideas and emotion over the Bible. A sermon is more likely to be relatable topic for youth rather than learning about God's Word. It's more likely an inspirational speech than growing in your faith and learning theology. I wasn't taught about God's wrath towards sin, His righteousness, or His holiness. I was only taught about His love, kindness, and mercy. While those are all true, I was only being shown a part of God's character. I wasn't growing and learning more about Him, just the same traits over and over again: He loves, He saves, and He's kind. Our faith isn't based on an experience. It's based on the Word and the never-changing character of God. It's based on the Gospel. This is why I found the charismatic church to be shallow, because all I was seeing was emotion and "you gotta have more faith." Where I am now? Well, I've grown a ton, and I still have so much more to learn. I now align prominently with Calvinist/Reformed beliefs. I still struggle with my emotions--or rather, lack thereof--and that feeling of isolation sometimes returns. But now, I know what to do: go to the Word. Study it. Know God. Test all things according to the Bible. Then, you will grow. My advice to anyone--whether you're a part of the charismatic church or not--is to read your Bible. Not only read it, study it. Don't cherry-pick verses. Dig deeper and deeper. You will never stop growing until you die and God takes you home, so let's use this time to know Christ. Those found outside of Christ on judgement day will be told, "I never knew you; depart from me, you worker of lawlessness." (Matthew 7:23) He doesn't say "You didn't do enough for me," "You didn't get into your emotions enough," "You didn't serve people enough," etc. He's going to say "I never knew you." We need to know God, not merely feel Him. And the best and most reliable way to know God is through the Bible, where you'll find His story, the gospel, and how you should live. Get to the point where it's your most treasured possession. Don't settle for a mere experience with the Lord (where you very well may be deceiving yourself). Go to the source: His Word. You'll find it to be much more reliable than your emotions or what a speaker has to say. So there you have it: a teen's experience with the charismatic church. I'm not trying to hate on it or those within the church, I'm merely giving another viewpoint, so please be respectful of this. Thank you, and God bless! Soli Deo gloria.
6 Comments
Anna
12/27/2020 08:59:25 pm
Wow, thanks for this Aria! It really helped me understand in knowing of God intimately (even if I do not attend a charismatic church). Your blog's amazing!!!
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NICHOLE
2/13/2021 01:58:33 pm
Hi Aria, I really loved reading this! I didnt even know that you had a blog. I cant wait to read more! 😁
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Dahlia
2/16/2021 02:27:32 pm
I am a very emotional person, but I find problems with those churches, too! So glad to have you as a friend, Aria.
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authorHi, I'm Aria! I'm so glad you've stopped by my blog. I'm a Christian teenage girl living in the United States, doing what I love for the glory of God. Learn more about me and the heart behind this blog here. archives
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